Digitally declutter and work out who your real friends are before 2025.

My new year reset checklist including my digital declutter list that I SWEAR by.

Good morning, good evening, good afternoon. I hope you’ve got a turkey sandwich, handful of chocolate, and a cup of tea in hand (whatever time of day or night this lands in your inbox). Of course, time has little meaning in Twixmas (Twixtmas?). I’m in front of a fire, shocked to be told it is allegedly the 28th of December and I promised my new year reset checklist to you all yesterday (aka Step One Part Two of my ultimate end of year blah blah blah see below 👇🏻) I am yet to do mine, before you ask, I am chomping at the bit and will be dragging my entire family through the process. If anyone had placed bets on how long I would last through Christmas without mentioning time blocking, quarterly goals, or making space and time for your creative health and you guessed not long, you’d win some money.

(Ps. If you’re not subscribed, I yap about all those things quite a bit over here, you’re very welcome to join in)

My dad astutely noted that this time of year is particularly excellent for giving anything the status of ‘a task to be completed’ and therefore anything can be deemed satisfying, fulfilling, and worthwhile (and potentially good enough to excuse you from doing the dishes). The quiz in the newspaper is easily a day’s work. Eating the leftovers? A worthy use of time. Monitoring drying laundry whilst napping in front of the telly? Fulfilment to last into tomorrow.

Of course, it also feels a little bit like ✨bonus time✨ to get those little bits and loose ends done at a leisurely pace with one hand in a box of Lindt. And thus I present to you…

My new year reset checklist including my digital declutter list that I SWEAR by.

Et voilà! I have been working my way through this slowly, and enjoying it immensely. It’s interesting to me that the digital declutter list is far longer than any others and reminds me of the observations of Jon Haidt (author of The Anxious Generation). The vast majority of my day, sadly, is spent in front of a screen. Whilst my phone screen time is kept under wraps, I am on my laptop for a minimum of 8 hours a day and usually longer. When work, play, research, creativity, rest, relaxation, enjoyment, documentation, adventure etc is linked to a screen in some way, it’s no surprise that it accumulates far too much clutter. And unlike a flat, where piles of train tickets, folded maps, stacks of photos, big binders of spreadsheets and notes, might get in the way or at least require you to sort them every now and again, it all fits neatly away, my laptop no bigger than a magazine. It’s important to make time to address it. The less your phone holds, then less it has a hold on you.

(Additionally, I’m intrigued by research showing that simply having our phones within peripheral vision—or even in the same room—creates a significant distraction due to their addictive nature, if they’re constantly screaming, “Pick me upppppp!” This makes me wonder: could knowing that my phone and laptop are in their most organised and minimal state help alleviate some of the anxiety, overstimulation, and mental load they often contribute to? It’s worth a shot.)

I have yet to tackle my laptop files, the number of things named ‘Untitled’ is honestly vomit inducing and I refuse to take them into 2025 in such a state.

The physical space, as someone living in a small London flat isn’t so pressing, I’m generally pretty tidy and organised and tend to have flurries of deep decluttering throughout the year. Similarly, the mental reset for me happens monthly and even weekly, although one task is reserved for such a time as now and that is the ‘Circles of connection’. Buckle up, this is a good one.

Circles of Connection (aka work out who your real friends are)

Theory check: The Circles of Connection theory is not attributed to a single person, instead it’s rooted in various sociological and psychological models of human relationships. It draws heavily from concepts like Dunbar's Number (Robin Dunbar the anthropologist), which explores the cognitive limits of maintaining stable social relationships, and frameworks used in person-centered approaches to therapy, such as those by Carl Rogers.

A related concept is the Social Convoy Model by Toni Antonucci, which visualises social networks as layers that provide varying levels of support over time. While the exact "Circles of Connection" terminology may not be directly credited, (and might have been made up by me? Honestly unsure) the idea is a synthesis of broader theories about relationships and their significance to well-being.

As we approach the new year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on your Circles of Connection; which I find to be a great visual tool and framework that helps me understand the layers of relationships in my life and their impact on my wellbeing.

Draw four layers of circles, and label them as follows.

1. Loved ones.

2. Close Friends.

3. Friends.

4. Meaningful Contacts.

I like to think about my expectations and boundaries with each layer.

1. Loved ones. Those who I talk to almost daily, from whom I keep very little private, who I would drop everything for and who I know would do the same for me. Who build me up, love me, and know me.

2. Close Friends. Those who I make time and space for in my life, who mean a great deal to me and might be friends, family, or colleagues. I make an effort to keep up with them, I care about not just them but their world and the people in it. I might have certain close friends that I do certain things with, and that’s wonderful. If I had a small dinner party, I’d invite them. I might not tell them everything, but I’d tell them a lot.

3. Friends. Really good people who I enjoy spending time with, old school friends, perhaps friends of my boyfriends, or my parents. Those who I would be very happy to spend time with, but wouldn’t go out of my way to make plans. It would be lovely to bump into them, we’d have a good catch up, and for a bigger party or celebration, many of them would be on the guest list. They have more than a surface level insight into my life, and it varies person to person of course.

4. Meaningful Contacts. These lot probably don’t know much more about me than is shown online, and vice versa. Perhaps old school friends who I’ve fallen out of touch with, those who I have met or collaborated with through work or work adjacent things, distant family friends, neighbours, or people who I’d be friendly with on the street but not invite in for a coffee, or go out of my way to hang out with. We have a very quid pro quo relationship, and I enjoy the company of many of them in a working capacity.

Mentally resetting for the new year means reassessing how I nurture these circles. Am I giving enough attention to those who truly matter? Am I over-investing in shallow connections that drain me? By focusing on meaningful relationships and reducing unnecessary distractions, I’m setting up to enter the new year with a clearer mind and a stronger sense of belonging.

This was mine from last year and funnily enough I’ve scrubbed all the names out because that would have been a bit weird!!!

So there you go, if you do one thing over the next few days I’d highly recommend it be this. I’ve done it for 5 years now so I also have the enjoyment of seeing people appear onto, disappear from, and move around my diagram year by year. Do it this year, and you’ll have something to compare to when December 2025 rolls around.

Please let me know in the comments how you feel about end of year shenanigans, I have a feeling people are more and more desperate to get their sh*t together - let me know why!! Why now? Why you? Was any of my über detailed stuff above helpful/ interesting/ delusional. Let’s chat.

Coming up

The ultimate recommendations list. TV/ movies/podcasts/ artists and books that made my 2024 better (and made me kinder/ smarter/ more thoughtful/ healthier)

Social media for artists in 2025: If you're on social media here's what you'll want to know.

How to be your most productive self: The day to day

How to be your most productive self: Weekly and Monthly Reviews

and more…

If you think someone else would enjoy the above, then do share so I know that other people are on my wavelength and we’re all a bit obsessive and bonkers and just want to be a little bit better at being us day by day.

Ok very best wishes! Back to the leftovers…

Love Phoebe xo